


Though I've tried to forget you you're all that I am

by WolfKomoki



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M, Multi, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-01-28 07:33:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12601492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfKomoki/pseuds/WolfKomoki
Summary: As Savitar watches the life drain from Iris West's body, he didn't expect to feel a pang in his chest. He doesn't love her anymore, and yet here he was, feeling remorse for killing her. Now there was only one thing he could do: go back in time and fix his mistakes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The Flash is owned by The CW.  
> Disclaimer: I don't know what it's like to be totally blind in one eye. Though I am visually impaired, it's nowhere near the level of blindness that Savitar has in his right eye. Also, if I've done anything offensive, please let me know, because it was not my intention to offend anyone.

          “ _Don’t_! Please don’t! Don’t do this!” Barry pleads as Savitar aims the blade towards Iris’s heart.

          “Now, finally, I am free of you.” Savitar growls.

          “Barry, I love you!” Iris sobs.

          “No! Don’t say that alright? You’re gonna be alright! I’m _begging you_ just-” Barry starts to say. Iris calls his name out, in fear.

          “You lose Barry.” Savitar spats, and that’s when he stabs Iris through the heart. Savitar watches as Barry cries out, and slowly runs over to Iris, a last-ditch effort to save her. Barry was holding onto her now, sobbing as he holds her close. He’s calling her name now, sobbing as he holds onto her body. As Savitar watches the life drain from Iris West's body, he didn't expect to feel a pang in his chest. He doesn't love her anymore, and yet here he was, feeling remorse for killing her. Now there was only one thing he could do: go back in time and fix his mistakes.

         

          He’s running at this point, running as fast as he can through the time stream. He needs to fix this, he needs to fix his mistakes. He can’t listen to Barry’s devastation anymore, and so, he runs. As Savitar runs, he’s finding himself in the timeline, listening to his memories go by. When he killed Iris, he thought that achieving his goal would make him feel serendipitous, but it just made him feel remorse. Killer Frost was right when she said that he wasn’t ready to kill her, not that he had listened at the time.

          Eventually he stops running through the timeline, not sure what year he found himself in. As he stopped running, he realized that he was still wearing his suit. Well, at least he has that going for him. Still, he knows that he can’t stay in that suit forever. Eventually, he’s going to have to get out of the suit, and when he does, he knows that people will most likely be frightened of him, at least if memory serves him correctly.

          The last time he had gone out in public without his suit, children everywhere were running from him. Savitar can’t lie, that hurt a lot. Still, he’s determined to fix his mistakes, so that means that he’s going to have to do something with his suit. Savitar considered going to Star Labs to help, but the last time he spoke to them, they shunned him because he wasn’t the “true” Barry Allen. Still, he’s bound and determined to fix his mistakes, so if he has to wait to earn his place, then so be it.

          Savitar doesn’t know why he feels remorse for killing Iris. It’s not like he loves her anymore. If he had to have a reason, then hearing Barry’s devastation was good enough for him to feel remorse. Savitar refuses to let that happen again. No, this time he won’t kill Iris, not in this timeline anyway.

Savitar blinks when he sees the familiar trail of yellow lightning zip by him. _Barry_ his mind supplies.

          Savitar waits for his trail to disappear, and that’s when he starts looking for a place to store his suit. He knows he can’t store it at Barry and Joe’s apartment, that would be stupid. Still, he could store it in Leonard’s safe house, after all, he and Barry were once dating. Savitar just hopes that he’ll let him. As Savitar runs, the wind brushes against his face, and he’s reminded of Iris’s touch. Iris’s touch was ethereal as she touched his scars, being careful not to hurt him. As Savitar listened to Barry’s anguished cries, he felt remorse.

          He was determined to fix his mistakes this time around. For one thing, Iris is going to live this time, and if they will let him, he’s going to help Team Flash this time around. Savitar doesn’t know when he is exactly, but he does know this, Barry needs to create a time remnant to defeat Zoom, or Savitar will cease to exist. Savitar just hopes that he doesn’t also have to kill Iris, he didn’t come back here for that. Savitar eventually makes his way into Leonard’s safe house, surprised that he didn’t see Leonard when he raced his way inside. Slowly, Savitar got out of the suit, watching as the mechanisms of the suit slowly opened, allowing him to step out of the suit.

          Now that he was out of the suit, he pushes it against the wall, making sure that it was standing against the wall. Savitar also isn’t sure whether Barry needs to create Flashpoint, or not. A part of him hopes that that doesn’t happen, but he isn’t sure of what will happen if he doesn’t create Flashpoint.

It was about an hour later when Savitar hears the sound of a key in the door, and that’s when he makes his way towards the couch.

          He still can’t see out of his right eye, so he sits on the left side so that he can see Leonard when he comes in. Finally, Leonard walks inside the safe house, closing the door. Savitar doesn’t know how he’ll explain what happened to him to Leonard, but he knows that he’ll have to come up with something. When Leonard walks in, he realizes something: Barry was sitting in the dark.

          “Scarlet? Why are you sitting in the dark?” Leonard asks with concern. Slowly, he turns on the light, and that’s when his eyes widened in concern. The right side of Barry’s face was burned, and he was blind in his right eye.

          “Scarlet! Oh my God! What happened? Are you alright?” He shrieks, running over to Savitar’s side. Savitar blinks. How was he supposed to explain this?

          “I um… I’m… I’m not Barry.” He says lamely.

          “What do you mean?” Leonard asks with confusion.

         

          “I was a temporal duplicate, or a time remnant, if you will. I was created when Barry ran back in time, and created a time remnant to stop a speedster named Zoom. That remnant died, and it would have stayed that way, had Barry not created Flashpoint. Because of Flashpoint, that remnant that burned up lived, but a _funny_ thing happened when I did. They all shunned me because I wasn’t the “true” Barry Allen. I took off after that, as I was feeling broken, and alone. After a while I realized the truth: God feels no pain, so all I had to do was become one. I needed a few things before that could happen though.” Savitar starts to explain.

          “What did you need?” Leonard asks, sitting closer to the speedster.

          “I needed for Barry to create the time remnant to stop Zoom. Then, I needed for Iris to die, so that Barry is pushed so far into the dark, that he creates time remnants to stop me. From there, he slaughters them all, but one: me. The remnant that burned up to stop, Zoom.” Savitar answers. Leonard nods as he listens to his story.

          “I killed her, but what I wasn’t expecting was the feeling of remorse that came with killing Iris. I don’t love her anymore, so I don’t understand why I felt remorse. I guess it was listening to Barry crying out in distress that finally broke me. I know one thing though, that’s not going to happen this time. This time, I’m not going to kill her. I won’t. I’m going to fix my mistakes.” Savitar declares. Leonard’s eyes widened in shock when he sees tears pouring from the speedster’s eyes.

          “Hey, hey. It’s alright, it’s alright. Come here.” Leonard calls. Savitar was hesitant. He hadn’t felt the touch of another warm human being in years. The only human contact he got was from Killer Frost, which felt cold to the touch. Leonard sighs. This version of Barry Allen was broken, that much he can tell.

          “Please, don’t cry. Let me hold you Scarlet.” Leonard pleads. Savitar slowly put his hand on the couch, slowly scooting over to Leonard as he holds him close. Slowly, Savitar relaxed against his touch, slowly closing his eyes as Leonard wipes the tears from his eyes.

          “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Leonard calls, trying to comfort the speedster. Savitar slowly relaxes in his arms, and that’s when he slowly falls asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

                  When Savitar wakes up, he feels pillows and a blanket under him. Frowning, he starts feeling his surroundings. He slowly opens his eyes and waits for his vision to focus. When his vision finally focused, he realized that he was in a bed. Leonard must have carried him here. He yawns and walks into the kitchen.

         “Did _you_ put me to bed last night?” He asks.

         “Couldn’t let you sleep on the couch. Now, about this name, of yours, no offense but it sticks out like a sore thumb.” Leonard says.

         “I was thinking about Shay or Skyler.” Savitar admits.

         “Go with Skyler. It sounds way better.” Leonard says as he puts food in front of him. Savitar grins and eats the food.

         “Good to know not everything changes.” Leonard laughs. Savitar holds up his middle finger as he eats.

         “So, what are you going to tell them?” Leonard asks.

         “Well, I’m _not_ gonna tell them that I killed Iris. I will tell them that I’m a remnant, though.” Savitar answers.

         “Well, good luck with that. I’d ask if you needed a ride, but…” Leonard says, his voice trailing off. Savitar snorts.

         “Hey, what are you going to do about your suit?” Leonard asks.

         “I’ll have to wear it, or I’ll burn up.” Savitar says as he goes to get his suit. After putting it on, he walks into the living room.

Leonard whistles.

         “Damn, that’s impressive.” Leonard says. Savitar decides to turn off the voice filter.

         “I’m glad you think so.” Savitar says as he runs to Star Labs. When he gets there, he stops, slowly walking inside. When he did, however, Caitlin screamed at the top of her lungs.

         “Are you kidding me? Who the hell are you?” Cisco demands. Savitar holds his hands up as he slowly gets out of his suit. Martin watched as the suit opened up in parts. When the suit finally opened up, Savitar slowly stepped out.

         “I don’t understand _you’re me_. Are you from Earth-2?” Barry asks.

         “If he is, I’ve never seen him before.” Jay says.

         “I’m a time remnant.” Savitar answers.

         “A time what?” Caitlin asks. Savitar blinks and grabs the marker.

         “May I?” He asks. Cisco blinks.

         “Yeah, sure. I guess.” He shrugs. Savitar starts by drawing a circle on the left.

         “So, this is your timeline.” He explains, pointing to the circle. He draws a line in the middle.

         “This is the timeline.” He says. He draws a circle on the right.

         “So, a year from now, you create a time remnant to stop Zoom.” He says, drawing a skull in the circle.

         “That time remnant dies.” He says as he draws a line going up on the right. He draws a circle on top of the line.

         “At that point you went back in time and saved your mother. You lived in a timeline where she was alive for three months before you started forgetting your memories, and... you had to let her die again. Something happens on May 23rd, 2017, and you shut everyone out for a while. Eventually you created time remnants, and they were all slaughtered, except for me.” He explains. He leaves out the reason why he created time remnants for obvious reasons.

         “Okay… that’s… _okay_.” Barry mutters.

         “I hate to ask, but what happened to your face?” Caitlin asks.

         “I ran too fast and my face burned.” Savitar answers.

         “Well, why didn’t you ask me to make you a suit?” Cisco wonders. Savitar frowns and looks at the floor.

         “Dude?” Cisco asks when Savitar stays silent.

         “We did something in the future didn’t we?” Caitlin realizes.

         “What did we do?” Barry asks.

         “You… you rejected me.” Savitar finally answers.

         “What the _hell_?” Cisco shouts.

         “Why the hell would we _do_ that?” Cisco asks.

         “You said it was because I wasn’t the “true” Barry Allen. That I was a fake.” Savitar answers. He still hasn’t looked up from the floor.

         “Yeah? Well, _screw that_! You’re still Barry!” Caitlin says. Savitar looks up, and cries. Why couldn’t they have been like this the _first time_? Barry frowns and walks over to him, trying to pull him in for a hug. Savitar blinks as he’s pulled into a memory.

         _He’s escaped the battle from the first Savitar, and he’s barely hanging on. He stumbles into Star Labs, and that’s when Barry sees him._

_“You’re alive?” He asks._

_“Barely, but yeah.” Savitar says._

_“Get the hell out of here.” Cisco demands._

_“Excuse me?” Savitar asks._

_“He said, get the hell out.” Joe growls._

_“I…” Savitar starts to say._

_“You’re a fake. You’re not the real Barry Allen. You were created with one purpose, to fight against Savitar, and die. You’re a fake.” Barry spats._

_“How can you do this?! I’m YOU!” Savitar shouts._

_“No, you’re not. You’re a fake.” Wally spats._

_“You’re an aberration. Now get the hell out!” Barry shouts._

         “Hey, hey, hey. We’re not gonna _reject_ you again, okay?” Barry frowns, slowly touching the scars on his face. Savitar slowly relaxed as Barry pulls him in for a hug.

         “It’s okay now, you’ll never be alone again.” Barry tells him. Savitar continues to sob as Barry pats his back. Everyone frowned. Why the hell would they reject any version of Barry? When Savitar finally stopped crying, they all looked at him.

         “So, what should we call you? Calling you Barry would be too confusing.” Cisco asks. Savitar frowns as he’s pulled into another memory.

_“Please Barry.” Joe pleads._

_“That’s NOT MY NAME!” Savitar shouts._

Savitar shakes himself out of the memory. _Stop it. That’s in the past. You’re going to change all that._

         “S—Skyler. Call me, Skyler.” Savitar tells them. He wanted to leave his past behind, and to start, he needed to drop the Savitar persona.

         “Skyler Allen huh? I can work with that.” Cisco says. He then realizes something.

         “You had to make that suit by yourself, didn’t you?” He asks.

         “Yeah.” Savitar frowns.

         “Judging by the glow, I’m guessing you like blue. Do you mind if I make a suit for you?” Cisco asks.

         “Thank you. Thank you so much.” Savitar says, crying again.

 


End file.
